It was Xavier’s birthday, a big day for parties and friends and he dressed carefully in front of the mirror. Xavier sighed and examined his image. Cursed to be an extraordinarily handsome young man, with black hair and innocent blue eyes, he smiled wanly at his reflection. He needed a shave.
Conditions aboard ship had improved when he had been promoted from cabin boy to cook hand, and there were fewer of the insulting stares. It might have been easier for him since he was the owner’s nephew, but the crew of the Dorianne was unaware of his birth connection. The secrecy was given as a condition for his employment when he had been caught as a stow-away. The other crew members only knew that he had his own berth, and had fought accusations that he was sleeping with the Captain.
patrick o'scheen 
Interesting eight, Patrick. You used a lot of the word had so you might want to check that.
will do…the purpose of this 8 was to give people something to fix lol
Hmm… I was told that they were an editing group. Oh well, I corrected the errors. Apparently I misunderstood. This is a tidbit to lure readers! wish I had known…but there’s next week.
Oh and thanks!
Nice excerpt, Patrick! I’m intrigued by this Xavier character. Interested to know more. 🙂
Thanks! I am currently editing “Seer” so hopefully there will be more from X.
“Cursed to be an extraordinarily handsome young man” – And I already like it 🙂
Interesting set up. Can’t wait to see what develops during this story – terrific snippet!
Xavier seems to be an exceptional character. I like how you say being extraordinarily handsome is a curse for him.
Patrick, it sounds like you’re off to a good start.
You were under the impression that, “the purpose of this 8 was to give people something to fix.”
OK, here’s a thought for you.
My editor likes dialog.
Is there a way you could tell us the same information in this snippet in the form of dialog?
Oh, I love dialog, too. This particular sequence is solo. However, never fear. The conversation is soon at hand.
Ooo, do I sense a scandal?? Great 8! Looking forward to more. 🙂